HyperIndependence as a symptom of Trauma

If you’ve ever been called a “strong, independent woman” (or man!) and felt a quiet exhaustion behind the compliment, this episode will speak to you.

In this week’s episode, I’m unpacking something many of us carry without realising it — hyper-independence. That deep belief that you have to do everything on your own — not because you want to, but because somewhere along the way, you learned that asking for help wasn’t safe or worthwhile.

We’ll explore where this pattern comes from, how it quietly shapes our relationships and sense of belonging, and most importantly, how trauma therapy — especially EMDR — can help soften those edges. Because healing doesn’t just mean surviving alone. It’s about learning to trust, to connect, and to let others in again.

If you’ve ever felt lonely in your strength, this one’s for you.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

• Independence can be healthy — until it starts to isolate you.

• Hyper-independence is often a trauma response, not a personality trait.

• EMDR therapy helps uncover and heal the old wounds that created the need to “do it all alone.”

• True strength isn’t about avoiding help — it’s about allowing it.

• Letting others in can be one of the most healing experiences of all.

Key Highlights:

• What hyper-independence really is — and how it hides behind “strength”

• The roots of self-reliance in childhood trauma, neglect, or betrayal

• How hyper-independence shows up in adulthood: work, relationships, and loneliness

• Why accepting help can feel uncomfortable — and what that reveals

• How EMDR therapy can release the pain driving over-independence, helping you open up to trust and connection again

Resources Mentioned:

• Dr. Lloyd’s Heal Your Past online EMDR program – Register at emdrdoctor.com.au/heal
• Research on PTSD treatments and why EMDR is faster and more effective than traditional talk therapy for trauma

Contact and Feedback:

• Thinking about trying EMDR for PTSD? Reach out to Dr. Lloyd at emdrdoctor.com.au.
• Note: This podcast provides general information and is not a substitute for individual medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider for personalised recommendations.

Subscribe & Stay Connected:

• Make sure you’re following The EMDR Doctor podcast so you never miss an episode! Next week, we’ll be exploring even more ways EMDR can transform your life — from deepening your relationships to building a stronger sense of self.
• Each episode is packed with expert insights, real stories, and practical tools to help you on your path to recovery.

Join Dr. Caroline Lloyd as she unpacks trauma, demystifies PTSD, and shares how EMDR can support real, lasting healing.