Don’t let the zombies out of the cupboard

Hi everyone, it’s Dr. Caroline Lloyd here and in this week’s episode, I’m diving into a metaphor that came up in session recently: a child describing her mum’s depression as like living with a zombie. Not a Halloween monster, but that vacant, checked-out presence that feels terrifying when you're a child relying on your parent for safety and love.

In this solo episode, I’m reflecting on what happens when children grow up in households where a parent’s mental illness becomes the silent centre of the home. I talk about emotional survival, parentification, and the hidden costs of growing up too fast. It’s a deep one, but an important one.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

• Children of depressed parents often develop a distorted sense of responsibility, suppressing their own emotions to protect the parent.

• Becoming "the grown-up" too early can lead to adult issues like anxiety, boundary difficulties, people-pleasing, and sibling conflict.

• Secrecy and shame around mental illness can isolate children and delay healing well into adulthood.

• EMDR therapy can help reveal and reprocess these early childhood experiences in a safe, contained way.

• Healing the inner child involves validating that their needs mattered then — and still do now.

Key Highlights:

• A client’s powerful image of her mother with depression as a "zombie" opens up a deeper conversation about how kids experience parental mental illness.

• Exploring the concept of children walking on emotional eggshells — not due to violence, but to avoid burdening an emotionally fragile parent.

• How kids often suppress their own emotional needs to survive in unstable environments.

• The pattern of parentification — where children become caregivers too early.

• Long-term emotional toll on children who appear "capable" on the outside but carry heavy internal burdens.

• Shame, secrecy, and fear surrounding parental mental illness — and how EMDR helps bring these "zombies" out of the cupboard safely and begin to heal.

Resources Mentioned:

• Dr. Lloyd’s Heal Your Past online EMDR program – Register at emdrdoctor.com.au/heal
• Research on PTSD treatments and why EMDR is faster and more effective than traditional talk therapy for trauma

Contact and Feedback:

• Thinking about trying EMDR for PTSD? Reach out to Dr. Lloyd at emdrdoctor.com.au.
• Note: This podcast provides general information and is not a substitute for individual medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider for personalised recommendations.

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• Make sure you’re following The EMDR Doctor podcast so you never miss an episode! Next week, we’re diving even deeper into how EMDR can shape your healing, your relationships, and your sense of self.

• Each episode is packed with expert insights, real stories, and practical tools to help you on your path to recovery.

Join Dr. Caroline Lloyd as she unpacks trauma, demystifies PTSD, and shares how EMDR can support real, lasting healing.